The art of tuning in to yourself and become who you want to be.
You were probably given the advice... "Don't be emotional" or accused of being"emo!" It may make you think that it is something bad. To be suppressed. No! Having emotions is just being human. It is how we connect and build relationships with things around us. We cannot feel for each other if we connect through our emotions. It is critical to our relationship well-being. Wouldn't you want to get to know this integral part of yourself a little better?
Let's get going!
One of the meaningful ways to unpack the word "e-motion" is "that which sets us in motion". In other words, emotions arise within you and lead you to act (or react) and the reaction will not change its course until you become aware of it. How often do we see people burst into anger, the face turns red hot, and words just flew out of the mouth! "Wow, that really got you fired up, why were you so angry, what happened?" At once, we recognise the emotion and begin the process of conscious where we want to go with this emotion.
You got Triggered
Marshall Goldsmith in his #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller Triggers, defined trigger as:
“A behavioural trigger is any stimulus that impacts our behaviour”
So, when triggered, the corresponding response will show up as a behaviour. That behaviour will have a positive or negative impact on us and good or bad just happened.
Thankfully, the psychiatrist Viktor E. Frankl in his book Man's Search for Meaning says that
"Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."
Creating Space for yourself
Marshall went on to describe in his book the idea that between Trigger and Behaviour, three things happen: Impulse, Awareness, and Choice. When we start to recognise our triggers, the impulses to respond, bring awareness to what is going on, we can make better choices on how we behave in order to show up and behave in the way we want to be. Sounds simple? It is, but it isn't easy.
In the game of golf, putting is the simplest stoke to make; you use the shortest club and the hole is just a few meters away. Getting the ball into the hole is not easy. You need to practice to hone in the skills needed to do this well.
Make emotions your friend
Emotions are very much part of the human experience. It brings you the joy of happiness, delight in surprises, protects you in fear, and defend you in anger. Disgust can be efficient in eliminating unpleasant experiences and sadness can show you what you value most.
To understand your best friends, you will need to spend quality time with them to know what is behind their unique existence. It will help if you remain curious to understand the deeper facets of a complicated friend.
Enjoy your emotional roller coaster ride with your best friends. When you develop trust with your best friends, you will understand that they are there to serve you and help you be the person you always wanted to be.
Put your hands up in the air and fasten your seat belts.
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